Dear Carl,

Dear Carl,
Today I cleaned the toilets. Are you proud of me? It is probably the first time in about a year and 8th time overall in the 6 years that we have been married that I have had to clean the toilets. It wasn't so much fun and thanks for the heads up that the toilet cleaner is broken and squirts out the side. Thank you for always doing it. I also have had to take the garbage out too. There are SO many things that you are so much better at and its apparent now that I am all on my own. You are a WAY better horsey than me. I can't seem to keep both the girls on my back and walk around the house on all fours. It seems so empty here without you. Any little noise that the guy upstairs makes and the girls go running to the front door shouting "daddy's home" It kills me EVERY time. I just feel so empty without you here. I'm making dinner right now and I know the girls won't enjoy it like you would. Emrie is such a picky eater and Ken just isn't a huge chicken fan. I miss having someone to cook for. I miss having someone to lay beside me in bed at night, and what I wouldn't give to be able to yell at you for not putting  your shoes away. I don't know why this is SO hard for me. I think because I don't know how long you will be gone for. It's the not knowing that makes this so difficult. And to be honest I'm not a huge fan that you will miss out on coloring Easter eggs, Easter dinner and my birthday. You better send me an awesome gift to make up for it. Just kidding. Well.... you are starting work tomorrow and I know that you are nervous, but you shouldn't be. You are SO good at everything you do, and you are a fast learner and one of the smartest people I know. You will pick it up so fast and be great at it. Good luck babe. I miss you SO much, and love you even more!
Love you always and then some, Audrey

North Dakota

Carlo reporting from the promised land: So, I am now on day 3 in North Dakota.  Things are very hectic up here and it is very apparent that there is no depression/recession at all in this area.  I have heard that the unemployment rate for this area is under 2%.  I have been out and about touring with Taylor, learning how to get around town and also applying for a couple of jobs.  Hopes are high that I might be able to get on with Taylor's shop owner hauling some water next week some time.  Finding housing is a big challenge and I hope that I can start working soon so I can claim an income amount on rental applications.  Without that, we aren't getting into anything.  I took a few photos on my way up here and thought I would share.



The last "hill" and pile of trees, for the most part.  About and hour east of Billings, Montana.

 

Not much going on out there. Flat.





One of the first pumps I saw. These things are everywhere.



This is about as agressive that the terrain gets in these parts. Gnarly.



Man camp. This is actually a bit more luxurious than the sardine style housing.

One of the rigs doing work, son.

The wells produce a natural gas by-product and it is burned off. Looks cool at night as these things are all over the place.

Sunset from downtown Minot near the Barlow's place.

 I sure am missing my family right now.  It is a weird feeling being without them and very unnatural.  I love the time I am on the phone with Audrey and the girls and am especially glad that modern technology allows for Skype and actually seeing my crew while I am away.  I hope that this time apart is kept to a minimum.  I hope to keep posting to the blog, but when I start working life becomes driving and sleeping with no time for much else.  Stay tuned, I guess.
 

This ISN'T what I signed up for!

Between two slats in the blinds I watched Carl drive away to North Dakota this morning. Thirteen hours to North Dakota. What is in North Dakota? I'm not sure yet. Promises of paying off debt and becoming somewhat financially stable I hope. Otherwise this move is not worth it. It's that plain and simple.

Roughly 6 years ago Carl and I moved to Teton Valley. Implants are what the locals refer to us as. We moved here to get our life in order after we both graduated from college. I got an internship at Targhee (the local ski resort) and he got a job there too (mostly for the season pass). I think we were only going to stick around for a few months, but after Carl got an excellent job in Real Estate we just stuck around. We've had two kids here in this valley, bought and lost a home here in this valley, and made friends here in this valley we have come to call home.

As I watched Carl leave this morning he sat in the car for a minute. Maybe he was adjusting temperature and volume controls, maybe he was saying a travel prayer, maybe he was wishing this place a silent goodbye and  a "see ya soon."

It's cloudy today and that is how my heart feels. If you know me you know that separation from Carl is VERY hard for me. I'd rather be raging mad and him and with him them ever away from him. I think he feels the same way, or perhaps he tells me he does to make me feel better. The thing that makes me really upset is that watching Carl leave this morning means that I will have to leave soon too, and then I get really mad because this isn't what I signed up for. But what hard things in life do we sign up for? (well I know we did in the pre-existence, but that's another blog post).

After the debt we inquired for trying to save our home and then the addtl. debt inquired from being sued by the bank for defaulting to pay the debt on our home we need to do something to get out of this financial prison we are in, and the opportunities that the oil field in North Dakota have presented us, we have not been able to pass up. Like I said I hope that this is worth it.

SO..... I have begun blogging again to keep everyone up to date with our travels and mostly keep everyone posted on what it like as a truckers family.

I'm nervous!

If you read my last post Kennday did indeed shove something up her nose. Ya know those things you stick in the water or the bath tub that expand and turn into shapes? Well earlier we did those in the bath tub, only Kennday thought that lovely green shape would be better torn up in small pieces and shoved up her nose. I always laughed at mom's whose kids got stuff stuck up their noses, thinking things like what kid would do that? Or why aren't you watching your kid? HA HA HA. Life's lessons as a reminder to NEVER think that of another mom or child. I was sitting RIGHT next to Kennady blogging all the while she shredded the thing and shoved it up her nose. Don't worry though a few sneezes later and she had it all out! For good measure I used one of those green suction bulbs to make sure it was all out. She did NOT like that and hopefully it will keep her from doing that again!

I sent in an application to work at Grand Targhee. I worked there for 2 1/2 years before the birth of Emrie and I loved my job, so it was just the place to reapply because as a creature of habit I know how things work there and it was a safe bet. I got a call back and was basically told that I have a job there, then I explained that before they offered me a position that I needed to have a shift where I could ride the employee shuttle (so that Carl can have the car) and that I needed a week off at Christmas. For those of you that have never worked in the resort industry asking for Christmas off is like a death sentence, but I had to do it, I have a family that is SO much more important than a job.....

Hold the press... I just got a phone call from Grand Targhee.... I GOT THE JOB.

Wow. I don't know whether to be happy or sad. Happy because I will now be supporting our family and that is SO important right now, but I'm actually SO sad because I will miss my babies. It's only for a few months right? Don't worry I'm not tearing up a little right now. Yes I am.

Eternal Families

As I sit here at this very moment writing about Eternal Families my little Ken ken has her arms wrapped around me and telling me that I am the "best eber." Do you ever feel so stongly about something that you can feel it in the very core of your body... your soul?, that it emcompasses you completely? If not then just stop reading here, because when I think about my family being forever I can FEEL IT!
I've thought very recently about what it means to have an eternal family and how strongly and important it is to maintain sacred covents so that we can be together forever. Let me explain, let me be bold!

I have witnessed death up close and known many in my life to pass away, I have also witnessed many of my family and friends  fall away from the gospel of Jesus Christ. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I have a firm testimony that families do not just exist here on this earthly life but forever (long past taking our last breaths) as long as we keep the covenants made in the Temple. That is why temples are SO important to members of the "Mormon" religion. It HURTS my heart to watch people I know stop going to the temple and not doing what they are supposed to because they are throwing away their opportunity for their families to be eternal. I guess this hits home so much more to me now because as I look into the eyes of my little ones I think  how could I not want to be with them forever? Well that's whats you are saying when you don't keep your temple covenants right? Maybe I just don't get it.

Ha ha... it is time for me to end this as Ken has shoved something up her nose!

WOW, It's been awhile.

SO.... Life has a funny way of sucking you in so that you forget you even have a blog! These past few weeks I have actually missed blogging. I miss having a place to put my thoughts, even if no one reads it, I feel better getting the things trapped in my head out.  

Updates:  My dear Emrie Isabella turns 4 in February. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I can't. I just look at her and wonder where the time has gone and then I get SO extremely sad that she has grown up SO fast and it makes me want to keep her forever. I often catch myself telling her that she has to live with mommy forever. For now she agrees with me, I hope that doesn't change too soon. She loves preschool which I am teaching to her 3 days a week at home. She loves animals and cooking. If there is ever a chance for her to be in the kitchen right next to me cooking, she is there. She has the kindest heart of anyone I have ever met and know that she was sent to me to teach me to have a kind heart also.

Kennady Irelyn is my little baby ball of fire. She turned two in September and is the love of my life. That girl can go from throwing the biggest fit ever to smooching all over my face. Shes loves playing with her baby dolls and pushing Emrie's buttons. While Em is my old soul, Ken is my go getter, and you better not get in her way, it's a good thing one of the things she wants so much is her mommy because I LOVE loving on her and after seeing Em growing up so fast I'm glad I still have Ken as my baby!

Carl: Hummmm..... Carl has had it rough at work for some time and after lots of frustration and tears (on my end) Carl decided not to work for his boss and quit his job. I can't tell you the relief that came to us after he quit (she was very mean). However now we have new fears, ones I hope many of you reading might not ever half to face. It's very difficult not being able to make payments and hard to swallow pride and go to others for help, I won't write the depth of our problems here on my blog because guess what? Despite the hard times we truly are blessed with SO much more than SO many others and I am learning how to be patient (very hard for me to do, because I like plans and organization) and how to be so much more compassionate towards others who are having hard times. ANYWAYS enough of that. We have been greatly blessed to have such wonderful friends who have given Carl a job to keep us on our feet while Carl awaits to see if he can work in North Dakota.
I'm sure many of you have heard about North Dakota and the oil that has been found there. It is not easy work but our goal is to have Carl work there long enough to get us out of dept and put some money away so that we can be a bit more financially secure than we are now. I really hope that it works out.

For now I hold fast to the knowledge that as long as we are doing what we are supposed to and going to the temple and paying our tithing that no matter what the Lord will prepare a way! HE WILL!

I can't find anything.

Those four words "I can't find anything" drive me nuts when its Carl or Emrie looking for a lost item, but when its the Dr. FABULOUS!!!!! They did an ultra sound today and couldn't find anything that looked cancerous. Hip Hip HOORAY. Good day.